Breastfeeding isn’t easy, but I’m glad I didn’t give up.
I didn’t grow up around breastfeeding mothers, but I felt led to give it a try. I truly believe fed is best, but after experiencing a miscarriage, I longed to trust my body again. I wanted to honor its ability not just to create life, but to nurture it. Choosing to breastfeed became part of my healing, a quiet way of reclaiming my strength and celebrating what my body could do.
Breastfeeding Benefits the Mother and the Baby.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for six months, followed by continued breastfeeding accompanied by solid foods for at least two years and beyond, as desired by mom and baby.
Honestly, I didn’t know what breastfeeding truly entailed or what to expect, and I certainly wasn’t prepared for how challenging it would be in the beginning.
Almost two and a half years and two babies later, we are still going strong.
The Early Days
In the beginning, breastfeeding was painful. My nipples cracked and bled. My baby didn’t latch well. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and silently wondering why something so natural felt so hard. There were nights when I cried while she nursed. I was in pain and unsure if I could do it much longer. If we’re being honest, there were times when I dreaded nursing because of how painful it was. I found myself counting down the days until my body would tell me I was done.
I’m glad I kept going.
When I think back to that time, I often wonder WHY I kept going. What did I have to prove? Because fed was best, right?
Black Women Have Specific Challenges and Need Multifaceted Support
At that time, I wasn’t aware that many Black women struggle to get help with breastfeeding. Black women have the lowest breastfeeding initiation and continuation rates of any racial group in the U.S. According to the CDC, only around 73% of Black mothers begin breastfeeding compared to an overall initiation rate of about 84%. The solution to this disparity is multi-faceted, but we shouldn’t have to fight to feed our babies. I didn’t know how rare it was to see a lactation consultant who looked like me or understood our specific struggles as Black women. I didn’t know that systemic disparities made this experience even more complicated for moms like me.
I questioned my breastfeeding experience a lot. What I later learned is that breastfeeding can be hard, especially without support. Many Black women face added challenges, including access to lactation consultants, access to mom and baby-friendly hospitals, higher pressure to return to work, and even cultural stigma. I soon realized that even having the resources to breastfeed our babies is a privilege.
Why Black Breastfeeding Matters
We shouldn’t have to choose between our jobs and our health. We shouldn’t feel ashamed for deciding to breastfeed, or not. By the time my daughter was three months old, we had found our rhythm.
Nursing became our quiet time together, our reset. When I became pregnant again, our journey naturally came to an end. I listened to my body when it was ready to shift its focus to my growing son. We weaned gently, just after she turned 18 months. It was bittersweet.
Now, I’m nursing my son with a little more wisdom, knowledge, and much more grace.
Here are four lessons I learned along the way:
- Ask for help. If possible, ask for a lactation consultant before leaving the hospital. If that’s not an option, look for local or virtual support groups. My sister-in-law and fellow nursing mama was my saving grace, especially during those early days. My insurance also paid for home nurse visits, and I received additional lactation support from a certified lactation consultant. See what insurance benefits you may qualify for.
- Advocate for yourself. If something feels off, speak up. Painful latching, clogged ducts, and low milk supply aren’t things you have to “push through” without help, and they are often a result of deeper issues. Ask if your baby should be evaluated for tongue or lip ties. Your experience matters, and your concerns deserve attention.
- Ignore the noise. Everyone has opinions, including family, friends, and even strangers. Only you know what works best for your baby and your body. Whether you nurse for two weeks, two years, or not at all, always remember that fed is best.
- Take care of yourself. Breastfeeding can drain your energy physically and mentally, especially during those early postpartum days. Add in returning to work while also keeping your household afloat, and burnout can sneak up quickly. Keep snacks and water nearby, rest when you can, and don’t forget you birthed a human. Your body and mind are healing. Give yourself grace.
It’s a Journey Worth Taking
I won’t pretend it was all magical. There were days I hated pumping, nights I dreamed of sleeping through without waking up drenched, and many moments I felt weak and defeated. Looking back, I’m grateful I kept going not just for the nutritional benefits, but for the bond it built between me and my babies.
Breastfeeding has given me a new respect for my body. It has reminded me that strength doesn’t always look graceful. Most importantly, it connected me to a powerful legacy of Black motherhood, one I’m proud to carry forward.
We Deserve More Support
August is National Breastfeeding Month, and Black Breastfeeding Week is celebrated during the last week of August. If we want to help close the gap and reduce breastfeeding disparities, we must work towards positive change. We must invest in community-led breastfeeding initiatives and education, train and hire more Black lactation consultants, and end the stigma in our own families and circles.
Nursing is a personal decision that deserves care, dignity, and support every step of the way.
To the mamas starting out, trust your instincts, do your research, lean into community, and know you’re not alone. Your journey might not be perfect, but it’s yours. You are doing an incredible job.
Resources:
Breastfeeding Overview:AAP.Org
Newborn and Infant Breastfeeding. AAP. Org
Racial and Ethnic Disparities in Breastfeeding Initiation:CDC.gov
