Nowadays, more people know a doula is a non-medical professional who provides physical, emotional, and informational support during childbirth, but what about if the baby’s development or birth doesn’t go as planned?
Well, there’s a non-profit providing that kind of support, for free, through the Pittsburgh Bereavement Doulas.
Jennifer Stampfel said she received help from the duals at the nonprofit back in April, during “the most difficult time in my life.” She said it was difficult because her body prematurely went into labor, dilating early and delivering Judah at twenty weeks.
“Losing him after wanting him so badly,” said Stampfel.
She wanted this baby so badly, she endured I.V.F. treatments, and when doctors told her Judah was arriving too soon, they offered a “bereavement doula”.
“I said I don’t even know what that is,” Stampfel said. “What is that?”
Pittsburgh Bereavement Doulas supports those experiencing miscarriage, stillbirth, and early infant loss.
“I said, ‘Yes, give me all the support because I don’t know what I’m doing,'” Stampfel said.
Having helped 40 families deliver about 50 babies, Abby Jo Perez knows what to do in these difficult situations.
“We can’t change diagnosis, but what are your hopes if this happens, what happens if this happens, what’s important to you?” said Perez. She explained that bereavement doulas are contingency planners.
Through this non-profit, they help people navigate the logistics of infant loss, while never losing focus on the heart of the matter.
“In perinatal loss, a lot of parents have suffered regrets. They don’t remember what their baby’s face looks like, they don’t remember how it feels to hold their baby in their arms,” said Perez.
With Pittsburgh Bereavement Doulas, it maximizes love and minimizes regrets.
“There is something I think, healing and comforting, when someone’s like, hey, none of this is scary to me. You can borrow some of my not scared and so that you can’t remember exactly how much you love your baby,” said Perez.
“It just meant everything it really did,” Stampfel said.
Doulas create memories, like bathing the baby, custom bracelets, and photos.
“When you’re in that moment, you don’t think of these things,” said Stampfel.
Grief often freezes people temporarily, while they’re overwhelmed and in a state of shock. However, the Pittsburgh Bereavement Doulas help thaw the shock for mothers and their families.
“It helps me process it, it helps me understand that he was here. He was real. And he was such a big part of my life, even for those five months,” said Stampfel.
They help families remember grief only exists because love came first, and they’re never alone.
“They do have support,” Stampfel said. “That they do have people who have gone through something similar, and they also do have the Pittsburgh Bereavement Doulas.”
The doulas’ care extends to the entire family when they’re called upon. This nonprofit serves people in Allegheny County and the surrounding counties, too, basically any hospital the Pittsburgh Bereavement Doulas can get to in an hour or two, and they’ll be there.
To find more information on the Pittsburgh Bereavement Doula’s click here.
